BBQ Kind of Weekend
Time is moving fast now, almost too many things to account for in a single day!
When you’re on the right track, things will line right up.
Stack, stack, stack.
I’ve been sitting on what the next move is with my artwork. If you pose the question and patiently wait, some kind of sign will show up. My sign showed up yesterday, my god what a blessing.
Fine, fine, fine. Universe, you’re right, I’m ready to go.
Since the last time we coalesced, some major things have happened for me.
I texted my neighbor last week, she reaches out regularly inviting me to things. “I really want to, but then I get right up to the point of pulling the trigger and get overwhelmed with fear.” I just told her straight out. No more, “maybe if I feel well enough,” type excuses. I let myself be open and honest and it felt far more vulnerable than just, “sorry, I don’t feel well enough today.”
And she replied back telling me she feels the same, and maybe we can help each other pull the trigger. There it is again, trigger finger.
Anyways, I was out walking Millie last night and ran into her at the dog park. We had a riotously good time. Another neighbor joined us, and we were folded over gripping our sides in laughter together.
I think I’ve managed to recruit one of them to my recent way of thinking — just wake up and decide today that you’re whoever the hell you want to be. Healthy, strong, smart, funny, sociable. And I’ve planted the seed for one other… maybe.
Sold my car, it was only listed two days. A few low-ballers, and their responses saying “you’ll never get what you’re asking for it.” But I heard the same thing when I was selling my Ambulance, and I still got what I was asking for it. Just be patient, things happen the way they should.
It was weird to see it be driven away this morning. I literally lived out of that car for a little bit, while I was waiting to close on the tiny house. Me and Dora would curl up in the backseat bed I’d made. She had the routine perfected, and if I was even a little bit late she’d get started without me.
My realtor was super bothered by the fact I was living out of my car. “But where do you park at night? Is it safe?!”
She’d mother-hen me a little bit, calling me up at 8 or 9 to check on whether the neighborhood was okay or sketch.
My life might look very different than the white-picket-fence, but I have zero regrets. I even had the fence, once, it was brown but still. And it never did bring me happiness. Not like this.
I just realized, technically, I sold my car for a profit over what I bought it for. Damn. That’s nice. What a lovely surprise.
I ate leftovers yesterday, and woke up like it was nothing today.
Don’t take simple things for granted. I spent decades unable to touch something that sat in the fridge for more than 24 hours. Do you know all of the incredible things this new power unlocks?!
I’ve been fantasizing about travel. Roadtrips for me and Millie, just don’t tell her ‘cause she’s still deciding if she likes being in the car to begin with.
I was on a real high from socializing last night. Curled up for bed I remembered an event flyer I’d saved last week. Texted my neighbor, “how about we pull the trigger on this together?” They’re serving BBQ too, I can’t fucking wait.
