Journal: February 8, 2026

That one time I played the saxophone, and I'd like to hear some more.

I’ve become obsessed with Nathaniel Young’s saxophone sessions.

He recently posted a video in a church hall, and I imagine myself sitting in one of the wooden pews. Different from any church service I’ve attended. I won’t fall asleep to these rhythms, guaranteed.

I dated a man, briefly, who played saxophone in high school.

Late one night he pulled it out of the back closet and started sharing with me that small piece of his heart. I’ve never played an instrument like that, I asked him, “what is it like?”

He instructed me briefly on how to shape your mouth, press your tongue, send air through the brass in your hands. Demonstrated along the way, then handed it over to me.

“Here, you try.”

There is something beautiful in sharing that kind of intimacy.

I have knowledge or a skill, let me share some of what I know. Let me help your experiences grow.

Sat in his yard, under the dark September sky. Knowing nothing about anything, except where we’d been. I played my first notes, and they sounded awful!

But the experience left me changed for the better, for a lifetime.

For that, they will be the most beautiful notes I’ve played in a long time.